God knows our hearts.

I will eventually give you an update on my husband's birthday weekend and the mice situation. Right now, I just want to write about what's going on in my heart. I'm not going to get into too many details here but let's just say I've been burdened the past few days.

It may be PMS, thyroid, hormones, something else or just me but needless to say, I've been on an emotional roller coaster all week. I'm trying to attack my emotions by spending time with the Lord, because that's the only real way I know how. I'm not one of those people who can hide their emotions well. What you see is what you get. I haven't really admitted this but I've been feeling like a failure, especially as a wife.

Yesterday, a couple things happened which totally made my day! Let me start out by saying that 'words of affirmation' is my strongest love language, followed closely by 'quality time'. God must totally know this. My husband's primary love language is 'acts of service'. If you don't know what I'm talking about, pick up the book "The 5 love languages" by Dr. Gary Chapman...great read.

Yesterday, I got a call from an older gentleman named Ernest, who's one of our customers. I don't even remember what he called about but at the end of the call, he said: "You are the first person who has helped me, all day. You totally made my day young lady". Mind you, most of the time, I deal with complaints and disputes over the phone. So, to hear a customer actually thank me, for anything, is a big deal. There was something about the way he said it...you could hear the sincerity in his voice. Mr. Ernest, thank you. You totally made my day.

I've been praying for more wisdom because I genuinely feel like I lack this. So many times, I'll say and do things foolishly, only to regret them 10 seconds later. It's a bad habit I know I need to break. Not just for the sake of myself but for the sake of my family, particularly my husband and our marriage. Last night, before I went to bed, my sweet Shankari Chitthi shared an encouraging word with me on Facebook. She said: "I know your heart Kannae, and I sense the Lord saying that "He is so pleased with you." I was like, what??! Honestly God?? I haven't done very much that is pleasing to you lately. I had a hard time believing it but I received that word by faith in Jesus' name! She doesn't even know this but after she wrote those words, something just lifted. I had tears in my eyes and the burden just lifted.

So, Shankari Chitthi, thank you. You have NO idea how much that meant to me. You have no idea how much YOU mean to me. I love you so much. Above all, Lord, I love you so much. Thank you for giving me grace, even when I don't deserve it.